Harnessing Sexual and Creative Energy

Sex sells.

Our culture is obsessed with sex. It's in our advertising, movies, fashion...hell, we refer to our cars, boats and other big toys as "she." Our sexual energy is constantly stimulated throughout the day. On the other hand, our sexuality is a secret and often censored thing. As much as it's stoked in our daily interactions, we are forbidden to embrace it publicly, if at all. It isn't surprising many people feel frustrated, not just sexually, but on an even more basic level. We may not know exactly what it is, but there is a nagging itch we can't seem to locate. It makes our skin crawl, our minds swim; we're in a static state of anticipation. 

Think back to school, think back to project deadlines and assignments that made you procrastinate in ways that made your inner 50's housewife weep sweet tears of joy. Remember suddenly feeling commanded to scrub the tile grout because, hey, cleanliness is next to Godliness and that history paper can wait. But let's get real for minute. How many times did procrastination lead to a little self (or partnered, lucky you) love, a nap, and then an utter inability to follow through with your original task? Try to travel back to a time you felt really pressed to accomplish a goal only to squeeze that clock a little more by retiring for a few more minutes of bliss. Or perhaps you scored a promotion or made a pan for a new workout routine or set goals for a new project. Did you feel aroused? The tension can become unbearable and we find ourselves at a crossroads.

When you feel that familiar pressure rising in your groin and belly, bring awareness to the options set before you. 

1. Have sex.
You can use this encounter to reenergize, revitalize, strengthen your connection to yourself or your partner, and get a delicious does of dopamine. You may consider practicing recirculating that energy back into yourself and expanding it into your entire body. This can nourish your physical and emotional outlook for hours, days, even weeks after your experience. Kim Anami, a noted sex and relationship coach, speaks more on this here. Excerpt below.

"Most sexual encounters follow a similar trajectory: there is an ascension, we reach a peak of pleasure at orgasm and this is followed by intense pelvic contractions and a burst of ecstasy. Then we see an energetic descent.

What if there didn’t have to be a decline?

There doesn’t.

You can tap into that cycle and draw that energy back in for yourself.


You do this through breathing.

That four-count inhale, four-count exhale (or longer) Vinyasa flow breath will serve you well here.

As we see in yoga, breath carries energy. We could even say that one of the main points of yoga is the movement of energy; releasing and clearing stagnant energy and bringing awareness to unconscious areas in our physical and emotional bodies. The poses are simply vehicles for this process.

The same applies in sex. By ensuring we breathe steadily throughout the sexual encounter, we redistribute our sexual energy throughout our bodies. This energy is even stronger and denser than regular chi or prana. In fact, the Taoists had a separate name for it: 'ji.'"

2. Create something.
This isn't just for you artsy types. Creation can mean a lot of things. It could mean committing to a new project, taking a new position, setting a goal, baking a delicious treat that you'll then share with me...Think expansive energy. Think growth. You may want to take a couple breaths and visualize light rising from your pelvis, up and out into your intended project. This can be enough of a disruption to refocus all that energy.

You may wish to combine these efforts. Go crazy on yourself or a partner, then get to work! But I would suggest that if you're feeling revved up for a stretch of time, try meditating on what your mind, body, spirit (all three) might be telling you to pursue. There just may be a genius idea stuck in there somewhere, trying to get out. 

Happy creating!

Mentioned in this post:
The 4-Hour Orgasm By Kim Anami

Stop Devaluing Men

I'm all about the feminist sentiments that are taking center stage right now. It's IMPERATIVE we, as women, take a stand for our rights, equality, and well being. But there's a huge part of this movement that we're overlooking. We MUST stop devaluing the men in our lives. 

It doesn't matter in what capacity a man is present in your life, it's absolutely counterintuitive to play into the "men are inferior" story we're so comfortable perpetuating. Let me explain with an example. You go to a girls' night out. The conversation eventually centers on the guys. You hear and maybe even say things like, "he doesn't do the laundry," "he's a guy, he doesn't know what looks good," "he's babysitting, pray for him," "he's a guy, he can't explain how he feels." When we set these parameters, it's easy for men to fall into them. We tell them, make it okay, even expect men to fall short in matters of the heart, household chores, childcare, and many other circumstances we deem domestic or emotional.

Here's the problem. We want access to the same opportunities as our male counterparts, yet we carelessly further these stereotypes that men are somehow less developed and therefore not expected to be complete partners. Imagine you grow up being told that you'll never be emotionally developed or in tune, that you'll be a brute and will need to be taught how to be sensitive and gentle, that you are stupid and basic. But we don't stop there.

After these boys grow up into men, enter relationships, and begin families, we mercilessly fault them for being underdeveloped, incapable, insensitive, simple...

So here's what I propose, ladies. Let's lift up the men in our lives. Let's support them and encourage them to feel safe to express themselves and break the mold society has tried to birth them from.

It's a scary thing to step into a role you've been conditioned to believe is impossible for you. Let's respect our men as the sentient, capable, powerful beings they are and maybe, just maybe, they'll feel confident to live that truth. We'll see far less struggles in the workplace, in our relationships, and communities. Our journey for equality will be that much easier to attain. You feel me? Now, go love on a dude and continue our march for rights! 


Recipe // Hot Buttered Matcha Latte

This is my favorite morning drink.

I found a wonderful Canadian nutritionist a little while back that specializes in balancing hormones. I did a week long detox with her and learned a lot about inflammation and adrenal fatigue. She's very knowledgeable and brings a fun, sassy attitude to her work. Info below.

Hot Buttered Matcha Latte

Serves 1 (Enough for a good sized mug)


1/2 Cup Almond Milk (sub hemp milk or any other milk you prefer)
1/2 Cup Water
1/2 tsp. Matcha Powder
1/2 tsp. Maca Powder
1/2 tsp. Hemp Hearts
1/2 tsp. Organic Butter (sub coconut oil or ghee)
Pinch Himalayan Pink Salt (to taste)
Pinch Turmeric
Pinch Sweetener (agave, honey, stevia, maple syrup)


Pour water, milk, matcha, and butter into a small pot. (Sometimes I just pour boiling water straight into the blender with everything else and skip the pot altogether.) Stir gently on medium heat until hot. Pour mixture and remaining ingredients into high powered blender. Blend until frothy. Enjoy!

* I mix 50/50 milk and water for my latte. You can do 1/4 cup milk to 3/4 cup water if you don't want it extra creamy.
** The ideal matcha powder is ceremonial blend. This is, of course, suuuuper expensive, so I make do with the standard summer harvest blend. It's all good.
*** Use gelatinized maca powder if you're sensitive or are using it for the first time. Use raw powder if you're a badass. 

**** You can find all of these ingredients in a health food store, but I often find better prices online. I've linked my favorite brands for a few items below.

Mentioned in this post:
Melissa Ramos Nutritionist
Matcha Powder
Maca Powder
Hemp Hearts

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